golden glissando

My two lives

2011-09-05T23:27:00.002+04:00

Teach For India 2011- The fellowship began in May. Here I am in September still grappling with the basics of teacherhood. This is about me and not my class students.

I am caught between two lives. Literally.What should I tell Shaizin when she cries that Mufid hit her? If someone hit me I would not know how to react either.Should I let Amar into class even though he did not bring his Word List sheet? If I forgot an important paper to school, I was sent out and did not like the feeling of isolation.What the hell is on the child's mind?What should I do when Abdul swears at Juveriya? Or when Uzra tells me that she learnt that swear word from her elder sister? Should i eat my food or not when Huda cries "Didi my mother not send Dabba today".

What am I ?
Friend? Teacher? Mentor? Superior?

What is a teacher? Am I one? Or am I just pretending to be one?

2011-07-13T20:03:00.001+04:00

Let go - butterflies

2011-01-02T20:09:00.003+04:00

Yesterday I opened
A box of butterflies
Out they flew all at once
in a rush of colors

The one in black
with the pretty blue patterns
was the first one to go

The yellow butterfly
danced a dance
twisted spinned and rolled

The reddish black suave one
Flew past my nose with a haughty whoosh

The bright orange butterfly
weaved it's magic
paper crisp and gay

The pink and mauve
patterned beauty
seemed to wink as it flew by

The brown butterfly
shed a tear
and the jet black one
gave me a glare

Now I know that these butterflies
were memories each
of the year that passed me by
After they all flew away ,
I sat to write and now I wonder
What new butterflies will go into
my box
This brand new year?

But honestly he does not care

2009-08-02T14:01:00.005+04:00

This is a friendship day special post.

guess who? ?

1) She can be "pretty innocent"
I am sure what was said was not meant
A way she has with mokkai
That sure will make you cry
Overall sweet and helpful
Math brain and very cool

2) The mouth that opens cannot close
A pretty challenging career he chose
The face in the mirror thinks it's handsome
Hurt he gets always poor little chum
He adores the mother the sister and the boss
The idol worship did lead to emotional loss

3) Eyes wide open here she does come
Watery teary eager to taste rum
A friend to lean on a friend to trust
Be sweet to her oh that you must
Creative and brainy a real smarty
If only she got a little less lazy

4) Laughter in abundance when he's around
A really funny friend i have now found
Flirting with the one that does not belong
And still cant figure out whats right and whats wrong
A word of advice I may share
But honestly he does not care

Parveen Sultana and vibes

2009-06-18T14:21:00.002+04:00

This happened many months ago.I attended Parveen sultana's concert at narada gana sabha.At the end of a mesmerising, absolutely divine concert I went on stage to meet her in person.I fell at her feet and she touched my head with her hands.There were deeply peaceful vibrations emerging from her hands which i could feel in my head.I thought i was making up this vibration stuff until i attended a pranic healing workshop which is a healing method based on energy concept.During the workshop we could feel energy in the form of heat and vibrations.Its really cool once you begin to experience it.It is physically possible to transfer positive energy from one person to another.So get your positive vibes straightened out and start radiating them :D

TIP: If u dont want negative energy to enter you from a negative person, cross your arms across your chest when they are talking negative stuff.Honestly works.

PS: I am a certified pranic healer :)

plainly speaking

2009-06-02T21:47:00.003+04:00

I have a notion that blogging is a childish way of seeking attention. Childish or not it works , mostly.

I cant write anymore because I have gotten this feeling that whatever i decide to write about is of no use to any reader.

I also read that two google searches can produce 7 gms of carbon dioxide.

FORGET SUCCESS TRY TO FAIL INSTEAD

2008-11-09T08:28:00.002+04:00

One beautiful concept i stumbled upon today - FORGET SUCCESS TRY TO FAIL INSTEAD

Failure is a beautiful thing. It makes you stronger. It makes you humble.It gets rid of your ego. If you keep succeeding in everything you do then where's the question of balance in life? Life cannot be all mountains and no valleys.Wihout coming down , you ll never realise the importance of being on top.

Its like this , only when there is a power cut do we realise the importance of the ceiling fan.And when the power comes back , the enjoyment of the breeze from the fan is a gazillion times more than what it was when it was constantly running.

And the important thing in life is not always suceeding but enjoying the success to it's fullest.

After all the simplest philosphy of life is to be happy.

:)

Have a great day

Study Holidays

2008-10-23T19:34:00.000+04:00

A TOKEN EXPERIMENT

2008-09-15T23:22:00.003+04:00

This is going to be the happiest post ever written.

All of us in some way or the other are affected by the people around us.

Here s how humans affect humans

1) Harsh speaking individuals ( professors fo this a lot)
2) High performance of one individual ( leads to jealousy)
3)Boastful individuals with superiority complex( leads to depression and feelings of worthlessness among others)
4) Interfering individuals who go out of the way to poke their noses into others' affairs
5)Individuals who speak ill of us behind our backs ( the worst of the kind)

Allright now we have five common human behavioural patterns that create tension among others.

How we normally tackle these people

1) Harsh speaking?? give it back... speak double harsh
2) high performance leading to jealousy?? spread wrong stories abt them
3) boastful?? double boast
4)interfering?? speak harshly/interfere in their affairs
5)back biting?? back bite you too.

Heres my solution to this

1) Harsh speaking?? speak double kindly
2) high performance leading to jealousy?? derive inspiration from them
3) boastful?? if they are boasting abt something worthwhile.. u might a well learn abt it
4)interfering?? speak politely and sweetly
5)back biting?? confront them in a polished manner

Apart from following the above five pointers it is a good idea to practice one random act of kindness everyday.

Like

1) leaving an anonymous pen in ur frnds bag
2) planting a sapling in ur old neighbors garden
3) taking ur noisy neighbors dog for a walk
4) teach a small kid some math
5) paint something and gift it to a frnd
6) leave a box of chocolates in the most irritating persons desk

I am going to practice one random act of kindness everyday and log them to see if i progress in this life.
The catch here is to stay anonymous in your kind act so that you wont derive any cheap pleasure of recognition.Kindness is inborn.But its high time we develop it.

ESCAPE

2008-08-26T17:02:00.004+04:00

The butterfly has leisure to love the lotus, not the bee busily storing honey.

Wish i could pause life for a few years and get back to it later.Maybe run away to a distant beach land and indulge in vinotherapy.

The Widow Of Vrindavan

2008-08-06T20:33:00.004+04:00

.

I ve learnt some priceless lessons from this book.
The author has beautifully penned deep philosophy in simple straightforward language.
You ll be sure to be moved to tears by that Indian touch in her writing.
More than anything else, every full stop, every comma, every letter is true.
If you dont believe me, go research on the widows of vrindavan.They are all over the internet.

Lets do away with typing the gist of the story.Just go read it.

PROFANITY

2008-07-26T20:47:00.005+04:00

Profanity is not new to me. I ve been living with it.College kids swear and so do the victims of my rash driving.But it really gets on ones nerves when a lecturer uses indecent /suggestive language during the progress of a classroom session.Of course half the population in class is cheap and really enjoys the usage of such words.The other half of the class is too weak/scared to actually shoot a hand up and request the lecturer to stop using such disgusting language.I admit that i swear , the ocassional slip of the b s and the f s is inevitable.But the swearing takes place in a safe zone (inside my helmet or with a close friend on phone)

Swearing in a classroom is an entirely different thing.It insults the student and degrades the lecturer too.A certain lecturer has lost the goodwill of all the female students in my class because of his repetitive use of indecent words.The supposedly carefree male counterparts simply sit there like overfed pigs taking in all the shit thats dished out to them while we women resist the urge to get up and tell the lecturer that he s committing a crime by swearing in classroom.

There have been male lecturers who ve told female students that they are only fit for onaism in various suggestive terms and words. Who will have the strength to tell him that he s invading her personal space.The best the afflicted student can do is shut up and take it all like a buffaloe soaking in the rain.

Maybe workplace will have some rules against profanity.Most Indians try to imitate the Americans in the use of swear words.Once they reach the US of A in an effort to pursue an MS they will realise that they could be sued for using such words and then they will learn to treat others with dignity.

The sickening thing about most swear words in tamil is that they all refer to some part of the female physique.What amuses me most is that men swear at each other with female body part names.

Atleast women dont call each other male organ names.

UPDATES

2008-05-31T19:31:00.003+04:00

Placements are coming up in a weeks time.

I have an old RS Agarwal with me. (actually split into part I and part II by my over enthusiastic senior)

Copies of placement question papers are flying all over the place.

Used rough sheets find home in window sills and desks fully scribbled over with "QUANTS SOLUTIONS"or worse still idle doodling.

Mock placement tests are a welcome relief ( read as : A/C labs are great on hot days)

Professionals use Mcrennet as a place to discuss "recipes for lasagne or hakka noodles"(though we ve never tried cooking either of them)

The canteen slice bottles, potti kadai mirinda bottles, Mcrennet iced tea cartons are all getting exhausted by the minute(COURTESY: last bench girls CLASS EEE)

Its great to be able to discuss "C" and " C++" while hogging on fried rice and vada curry.

Sick of the TMAY , the STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES and the DRESS CODE.

PS: All this is engineering college jargon:P

OUR OWN BOOK

2008-04-09T10:18:00.002+04:00

I have begun to write and for all you know i will be one of the co authors of the most co authored book ever.Itching to write? Just click here. The concept is called "Our own book".But the hitch is , you cant type more than 300 words per entry. Too bad for a person like me who needs to use a lot of language.But this word limit works wonders because the story gets interesting by the minute.And i like it all the more because its an indian story.

Sources of happiness

1) You can build upon another author's plot in case you run out of ideas
2) Your part of the story may become critical to the whole novel
3)People will build upon your story and that will make your part seem very novel and superior

Sources of irritation

1) The page keeps refreshing itself every few milliseconds
2)Once you exceed the 300 word limit you feel really bad because you cant type anymore
3) Your next post can be 5 posts later or 15 minutes later whichever happens first

Go on and keep typing and join me in authoring this book :P

REVELATIONS :D:D

2008-01-07T17:31:00.000+04:00

1)At the end of the day its nice to be called "de"
2)Major gethu word of this semester is " alpam"
3)Major gethu phrase of the semester is " good enough"
4)Pro circles do not lay eggs.Well maybe they do but they lay circle eggs. OK pencils lay eggs.OK OK i laid an egg(read drew an oval) on bhargavi's observation(in place of a voltmeter)
5)Everybody is evil (except ishu and me of course)
6)SCG stands for Sachin Chandidas Ganguly
7)Point six is a secret
8)NOKIA 6151 does not exist
9)Major gethu rhyming word to alpam is "balpam"
10)my GTALK reads DO NOT DISTURB. i plainly mean the same.

I WENT WOW -HOMOPOLAR MOTOR

2007-06-19T21:04:00.000+04:00

so how did it work? enter your replies in the comments section.The correct entries will each receive a surprise gift:P

PS: have a look at the gaussian gun. amazing

2007-05-11T19:04:00.000+04:00

One of my well wishers has been pestering me to fall in love.She asked me to get into the "natural process of falling in love" . "natural process" .... underline ....when shes been forcing me to do such a thing.After wasting weeks trying to brainwash me she finally quit.

Heres a quick list she made for me :

Advantages of being in love (in her opinion)

1) You need not marry a total stranger
2) You need not succumb to some stranger's needs when you dont have any emotional bonding with him.
3)Sad things may happen to you but one part of the brain will always be happy
4)points one two and three again and again emphatically delivered with amaazing facial expressions.

On second thoughts

Advantages of being in love

1) You will always have someone to waste your free messages on
2) You can become a great poet and submit your beautiful poems to that persons inbox
3)You will always have someone to report your whereabouts

5:10 pm: GIRLS MESSAGE: am near pizza hut
5:11pm: GIRLS MESSAGE: Am a lil away from pizza hut
5:12 pm: GIRLSMESSAGE: Am near this temple here

5:13 pm (when the boy arrives at that spot after seeing those obvious hints)
GIRL SAYS : Wooooow how did u manage to find where iam ..this is true love..

4) You can dump your bag on him even when its perfectly light and easy to carry .
5) You can tear your slipper at will and demand to be carried around the city on his bike.
6)You can demand that he remembers the day he proposed his love, the day he walked you home first , the day he fought with you first ,and so on ...first time experiences are very important.
7) You can whine about how dark the road is during nights and force him to walk home with you .
8) Force him to be sad when something bad happens to you.

STUdy hols and yesh i found the lost data cable :D

2007-04-20T09:16:00.000+04:00

FLower in bluuuurrrrr

Autumn leaves? an orange grassblade ?
Oh come on , its just my lil lamp shade:D

Switch on the focus lamp
above the little gas stove
Here i get a picture you all ought to love
PS : i cannot cook for nuts :D

I need no rhyme
to describe this thing
Thats a little 40 WATT bulb
(inside my lamp shade) :D

Its all in the beard

2007-04-11T18:05:00.000+04:00

I watched aanandham today :) (yesterday also )
Its a nice serial actually . Only that when a suspenseful thing is about to be revealed they say "Thodarum".(to be continued)
Its somehow more enjoyable than "kolangal kolangal twine twine twine twine".

Summer has arrived and i am awaiting the growth of somebody's beard :P .
I wonder how there is symmetry in growth of the beard .What will you do if the beard on one side of the face grows faster than the other?

I read somewhere that Alexander the great wanted his army men to shave off their beards before they could wage a war against the Persians .Looks like he actually said ""nothing but that the Macedonians cut off their beards, for there is not a better handle to take a man by than the beard."
Talk about preparedness :)

Good men supposedly shave off their beards .But Hitler never had a beard (of course ignoring a teeny weeny moustache ).Napoleon was infact clean shaven , so is BUSH .Now before you pounce on me to say that osama and saddam were bearded,think of this , their relegion encouraged them to sport beards.I never knew that blonde men had blonde beards .Kausik says that they grow in all colours. I assumed that black was some kind of default colour for beards.

The thing with bearded men is that they seem a little less easy to trust .But it often turns out otherwise ;)

A thing or two about moustaches :)

Hon A B Lincoln...

Dear Sir

My father has just home from the fair and brought home your picture and Mr. Hamlin's. I am a little girl only 11 years old, but want you should be President of the United States very much so I hope you wont think me very bold to write to such a great man as you are. Have you any little girls about as large as I am if so give them my love and tell her to write to me if you cannot answer this letter. I have got 4 brother's and part of them will vote for you any way and if you let your whiskers grow I will try and get the rest of them to vote for you you would look a great deal better for your face is so thin. All the ladies like whiskers and they would tease their husband's to vote for you and then you would be President. My father is going to vote for you and if I was a man I would vote for you to but I will try to get every one to vote for you that I can I think that rail fence around your picture makes it look very pretty I have got a little baby sister she is nine weeks old and is just as cunning as can be. When you direct your letter direct to Grace Bedell Westfield Chatauque County New York

I must not write any more answer this letter right off Good bye

Grace Bedell

Miss Grace Bedell

My dear little Miss

Your very agreeable letter of the 15th is received - I regret the necessity of saying I have no daughters - I have three sons - one seventeen, one nine, and one seven years of age - They, with their mother, constitute my whole family - As to the whiskers, having never worn any, do you not think people would call it a piece of silly affection if I were to begin it now?

Your very sincere well wisher
A. Lincoln

Cute letters aint they ? :)

And yeah ... i have decided on what iam going to do with my future .I shall do a Phd in pogonology.
For those who didnt know .... thats what the study of beards is called ;)

COLLEGE :)

2007-03-24T20:16:00.000+04:00

Paviyodu serndha jodhi
paadhai maari pogumo

means: the light that joined the sinner ... will it change its path ?

i am dumbstruck .Diamond pearl a k a vairamuthu kalakitaaru .
i am listening to vellai pura ondru

College works on sundays too. Iam not cribbing but its kind of getting on my nerves to dress properly seven days a week .I havent watched TV for a long time now.India lost the match and everyone is kinda blaming my classmate rags for this.He actually found out that idarkku means difficult as soon as i asked ( a word in this song), so i wont blame him for the match lost(though he screwed up things for himself by publicly declaring tht srilanka will win and even got kal adi).Ishu (my bench mate kindred spirit)is learning numericals methods ( by being attentive in class) while i sit there singing nila kaaigiradhu the hindustani way (which she apparently does not approve of).Jaishree's eyes seem to be growing in size by the minute. Ishu and i have decided to direct a movie with jaichu as the heroine.The movie will be called "MUzhi".:P Santy (the guy who ruins my hair with bits of paper ) is hyper excited by the fact that his parents have arrived and for once our phone conversation exceeded 30 seconds.I have signed a pact with nivya (nivetha) and promised not to snub her.Everytime i look at the fourth years i somehow am getting scared of separation from college and friends .I said " NO more pista milk and slice and samosa .No more canteen. No sitting under the tree.No vetti arattai.Am gonna miss this place " .JAishree feels that i will only miss the pista milk and not my friends.

SIGH

Iam loving college life after all :)

TAG :|

2007-02-26T16:29:00.000+04:00

SKYSCRAPER tagged me .. here goes

1. Were you named after anyone?

YEah yeah bengali actress supriya pathak :P

2. Do you wish on stars?

No
3. When did you last cry?

PASS
4. Do you like your handwriting?

YEsh :)

5. What is your favourite meat?

STrictly vegan(thats a lie):P

6. What is your most embarrassing CD on your shelf?

PASS

7. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you?

Of course
8.Are you a daredevil?

On stage sometimes

9. How do you release anger?
I dont release it . ALways bottled up :P

10. Where is your second home?

ORKUT :P
11. Do you trust others easily?

NOT AT ALL

12. What was your favourite toy as a child?

Never played with toys

13. What class in school/college do you think is totally useless?

second year IT

14. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

yeah right :P

15. Have you ever been in a mosh pit?

what pit?

16.What do you look for in a gal(/guy)?

talkativeness

17. Would you bungee jump?

depends from where?

18. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

NO

19.what's your favourite ice cream?

Lemon

20. What are your favourite colours?

Aahir bhairav (thts pinkish grey)

21. What are your least favourite things?

khaki coat , answer papers , forthcoming semester exams

22. How many people do you have a crush on right now?

one

23. Who do you miss most right now?

Squint eyed ambi :P

24. What are you listening to right now?

Jugal bandhi (TNS and ajoy chakraborty )

25. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?

Yellow

26. What is the weather like right now?

COOL

27. Last person you talked to on the phone?

which phone?

28. The "first" thing you notice about the opposite sex?
TALKATIVENESS

29. Do you like the person who sent you this?

Yes , nice gal .

30. How are you today?

Hungry :P

31. Favourite non alcoholic drink?

ANything from orchards or fruit shop
32. Favourite alcoholic drink?

benadryl

33. Natural hair colour?

brownish black

34. Eye colour?
Brown

35. Wear contacts?

yes (colourless )

36. Siblings?

no no :)

37. Favourite month?

December :)

38.Favourite food?

BHarathiyar kavithaigal (food for thought ):P

39. Favourite day of the year?

Valentines day :P

40. Have you ever been too shy to ask someone out?

no such situation till date
41. Scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies

42. Summer or winter?

WInter

43. Holi or Diwali?

Diwali!
44. Do you like your name?

yeah

45. What book/magazine are you reading?

PASS
46. What's on your mouse pad?

Mouse
47. What did you watch on TV last night?

Aduthaathu ambujatha paathelaa (song)
48. Favourite Smell?

Lemon

49. Have you ever regretted breaking up with someone?

No

50. Most tiresome thing you’ve ever experienced/done?

Hike at guides camp (year 2000)

I tag
FACELESS GAL
KAUSHEEE:P
TAPAASU
RANKBOG

2007-02-22T18:59:00.000+04:00

Well well well ,announcing the arrival of the SQUINT EYED AMBIIIIIIIIII

For all those who dont know , the love of my life happens to be this squint eyed ambi .

This narrow minded fellow made me uninstall yahoo messenger.

The best gift he ever gave me was a torn sheet of paper .

On that sheet was written , in his scrawly handwriting ........ no no not a love letter .

Yeah , you guessed it right , the recipe for "the perfect avial", to be made by me , every amaavaasai .

And that recipe he flicked from his ever sweet mother, my maamiar . (err ogay maamiar to be)

His exceptional talent in eating eight vadaams between every two helpings of rice has fetched immense glory to my skills too.

Yeah yeah , i make the best vadaams around.

My favourite shopping spot now is Rangachari cloth store .

No shop cant beat those homely cotton sarees these people sell .

Off late i have become an ardent fan of actress dhevayaani.

Yes yes , KOLANGAL effect .

The quote i like the most :

"KUNGGGGGUMAAM indha vaaram .... aeeeeei naan romba azhaguuuu " , kumuruigar nadigai rumbaa .

Next comes , the best of my works over this week . I am getting good at this kind of creative writing you know.

1) arisi ---- 10kg
2) dhaal ----- 3kg
3) hamaam soap ---- 6 bars
4) Rin soap (FOR AMBI'S beauty bath )---- 25 bars

Yeah yeah , the provisions list .

There are some major misconceptions regarding the identity of my ambi .

I cannot disclose those details . Thats because................

Its a crime to utter his name ,they say .

Err hes coming ... id better close this window lest he deletes this blog

SHHHHH dont tell him about this blog (just for the few people who know who he is )

:O

2007-02-20T14:46:00.000+04:00

Everybody go view THIS and THIS

I am awestruck :D (hes just two and a half !!!!!!!!!!!)

Shame on you Kausikram :P

STORY STORY STORY :D

2007-02-13T21:00:00.000+04:00

After an hour she said , " Am afraid this wont work".

He shook her shoulders hard and screamed., " But why? Dont you love me at all ? Look at me in the eye when you speak . "

Silence .

He threw a stone into the nearby pond .Together they watched the dark ripples in the water, partially reflecting the light from the moon .

One look at her eyes told him that she loved him a lot more than she accepted she did .A drop of tear, from her eye , he desired .Not because he derived any kind of sadistic pleasure in desiring such a thing.He had never seen her eyes moisten , never in those three years of their love.

Though he admired his girl for her ability to handle emotions with ease , he secretly wondered if that heart of hers was made out of stone .Currently he started worrying about how lean and weak she looked.

She broke the silence of the night air , " I dont love you anymore . We can never marry and live happily ever after as we often dreamed ."

A wrinkle of worry passed over his forehead but now he spoke like a gentleman ," I need a reason dear, something credible"

Pregnant silence .

She said ," Everything will seem unacceptable to you "

" It doesnt matter , give it a try " , he quipped hopefully .

After another hour of silence she said ," I hate your attitude "

"why?" he cried desperately and turned away from her.

Scarcely audible she was as she uttered ," Forget me " and started walking off silently

Finally when he did turn around he realised that she was already gone .

He chased her shadow till he was out of breath . He traced her footsteps till he could see no more in the darkness . Hoping that she would be safe , he walked homeward .

A sleepless night.

Tossing turning worrying , he repeated these three in alternation .

So he spent, another fortnight without being able to reach her for she had deftly cut off all correspondence with him.

The monday next , he opened the newspaper . A general glance at the obituary column and he knew she had died . A terrible death .

No mean accident, planned death it was .

No No not suicide .

Silent tumours , a patient of cancer, victim of chemotherapy .

He remembered how weak she looked the other night .

And all she wanted him to do was , forget her , get over her before she could die .

Death of a person you hate is bearable anyday .

The reason why she ditched him ? It dawned upon him now ... The reason was love .

Her heart was made ,not of stone but of the softest flesh one could find anywhere .

Shed he didnt, a drop of tear .Never did those eyes moisten .For he knew that the most emotional people never cried .

TAGGED

2007-02-06T16:22:00.000+04:00

sandy ( kindred spirit) tagged me some time back err actually long back .

TEN THINGS THAT DEFINE MY STYLE:

1) My handwriting : It slants towards the right and looks particularly poetic when i write with a fountain pen (honest , i love my handwriting)

2) My Clothes : My wardrobe is overflowing with kurtas . I hate the concept of denim. Synthetic fibres put me off. Cotton i love cotton i wear :) Khadhi is another attraction .

3) My Make up : I hate wearing make up .( i hate the make up man of that show too ) An occasional line over my eye you may find which is probably a km away from the eyelid .(Am still the only 18year old indian gal that cant wear eyeliner on her own). Otherwise , lemon flavored lip balm is a hot favorite.

4) My bag : Dull blue Jansport bagpack is my everyday companion .Otherwise , indian bags with subtle work accompany me .

5) My mobile phone : nokia 1100 :) cant make out why some people sneer at it .

6) My wallet : Its torn and i have to put up with a purse or worse still, pockets for a long time to come .

7)My conversations : Useless , aimless , directionless unwanted nothings. But i like to make people happy by non stop talking. i love people who are involved in fine arts .
I vibe easily with singers , percussionists , actors, instrumentalists and people who talk a lot.

8) My hangouts :

Inside college: the RWH line opposite the coffee shop :)
Outside college: Fab india , Elloor , Gangothree, Landmark ,Madhya kailash (very recently added) .

9)My room : neither too neat nor too ugly . Presentable at any time :)

10)My principles:

a) Emotional bondings hamper happiness
b) Nobody is clear minded . Confusion lies even within the most stable people.
d) I dont care to compare myself with others. I am what i am and shall be what i will be.
e) I hate people who apologise repeatedly . I dont apologise to people unless they are not a part of my inner most self.

I tag , Negotiator , skyscraper , shammi kutty :P ,
tappaaasu

Lastly , i propagate this white lie called me like i did above .

Naanenum poiyai nadathuvon naan
-mahakavi bharathiyar

Troubling days

2007-01-30T16:03:00.000+04:00

There is a reason behind everything i do ? honestly no ..... stuff that happened yesterday

Me : look at my status in life ..... officially ditched, awaiting an arrear , awaiting a tv prgm that i screwed, hated by one friend , blasted another, circuits lady hates me and am on top of the HOD hitlist .

Me: I drew the ZPF graph twice without a clue as to why ... that makes me an idiot on top of all that .

[vidya drew it twice because she forgot to leave space for the phasor diagram in one of them and i happened to blindly do the same :(]

Me: Am i not a super cool gal?man am having inferiority complex :(

Bhim: supi , cool is understatement , honestly you rock .

Me: i shall jump off the balcony

Bhim: with the kind of bad luck you are having you might bounce back without a scratch.

Me: yeah some 7.5 sani has caught me .

Bhim: your troubles make mine smaller ...... thanks you made my day .

sigh ... i made his day anyway . Wish i knew some creature with troubles greater than mine. The gandhian philosophy rocks :(

AHHH THE FRAGRANT DECEMBER

2006-12-25T15:28:00.000+04:00

December is coming to an end .My favourite month of the year .

Nothing like a quiet evening at a concert.

Good food , good music and loads of talking about the music.
After every concert i have been relegiously calling up my friends (the music lovers alone) or messaging them to describe how L subramaniams concert rocked or how pathetic Bombay jayshree's "akhilandeswari " was .. or even trivial things like how splendid the ashoka halwa is at music academy or how bad the coffee tastes at krishna gana sabha .Exchanging views on concerts , recommending new artistes .... im loving it.

This december was particularly enjoyable because i have been introduced to many music lovers over the globe.

Remembering shakthi was one of the fusion concerts i was unable to attend.Theres a video of a part of it here
.

From opera singing to aalaap to harikatha , ive enjoyed it all this december.

Waiting for next december .

Volte face

2006-11-16T09:14:00.000+04:00

That particular peacock believed that he was strange and weird.He even made people around him believe that he was atypical.He lived with the delusion that his feathers were black in color. His originality was swallowed up in a go by these bizarre thoughts.Proud he grew of his supposedly black feathers.In an effort to reverse his life ,he reversed his name.

He left no stone unturned in this effort to put up a serpentine attitude .Mask he did, his elementary nature which was quite normal ,very normal in fact , with the extraneous vices of sarcasm and mockery.A constant belief that he was strange and complicated ,shrouded his soul to an extent such that he went about taunting and tormenting lesser beings.One could not call him evil , he was just a wannabe beast, the poor thing.

He often told his friends, "My feathers are black , i have a dark side of which you do not know" .Soon enough he became depressed and began to feel that his immediate circle of friends was falling apart or rather moving away from him.He became friendless, he feared the night for dusk brought with it the demon of guilt, he feared daylight for dawn brought with it the possibility of new fiendish complications in his life.Often he drowned into the well of depression hoping to die .But the poor thing never knew that this was a bottomless well , a mere illusion.

His only mantra was " My feathers are black .I am strange".He became obsessed with this thought.The loud screams ,of his friends, which tried to make him understand that his feathers were normal fell on deaf ears.He grew rich in the coin of sarcasm and poor in that of spirit.His eyes were bloodshot.His voice sounded like that of an old peacock.His thoughts were dark and were enveloped in self pity and self sympathy He thought only of himself and brooded over the fact that he was unhappy.He was hyper emotional in the nights and felt drained out and stupid in the mornings.

One fine day the peacock was taking a slow walk in a beautiful path ,when he happened to see a beautiful peacock in front of him .His feathers were exotic and extravagant ,deep bluish green with the prettiest of designs on them .

Then he thought "ah how i wish i were like him".He closely observed the other peacock and was surprised to find that his eyes were bloodshot like his own .

Realization dawned upon him.He was in front of a mirror.

A sudden happiness shot through him with bubbly effervescence.

"Black feathers are not a sign of pride anymore. They ought to be blue", he thought.

He promised himself to be nice to one and all.He promised to be nice to himself.
Soon enough dusk seemed to bring with it an opportunity for a dreamless immobile gentle sleep, and dawn brought with it new vistas in this mundane pseudo life he had been leading. The stars seemed to chuckle at him and the wind woman seemed to sing a lovely tune that mesmerized him.He started off that very day and was good to everyone around , even the ones he loathed.He started using the golden words "sorry" "please" and "thank you" The reward? A peacock hug from his best friend, a thousand good night wishes and an unexplained bunch of flowers by his bedside the next morning.

Thence an elf sung this song unsung .

WORST FEARS

2006-11-07T09:48:00.000+04:00

If i do my engg badly ................

i wont gain admission into any good university for post graduate studies

i wont get a job

i will be forced to marry an orthodox ambi

i will probably wear a saree through out my life

i will be forced to make vadaam and dry them in the mottaimaadi

i will be taught how to make good puliyodharai and saathumadhu

i will never be allowed to speak about anything i like .

i will probably never be allowed to sing :(

i will probably have to learn how to make good "avial" for amaavaasai

i will probably be forced to fetch kodams of water from the well .

i will probably never be allowed to read LMM or PGW or savitri .

i will be forced to read kumudham , kalki and kungumam :((

i will never be allowed to watch pogo or pix

i will be forced to watch kolangal and manaivee

i wont be allowed to listen to bedingfield or parween sultana or enrique

i will be forced to ...ahh thts ok i breathe indian classical

i wont be allowed to maintain my secret diary .(it has a beautiful lock and key )

the lock of that diary will be broken and the keys stolen by the ambi :(

i will never be allowed to write poetry or fantasy.

i will be forced to write page after page of the list of provisions needed for the household.

my orkut password will be stolen by the ambi and my account deleted.

my yahoo and gtalking will be brought to a full stop.

worse still i wont be allowed to blog .

THAT SCARES ME ...... id better start looking at my books :(

MONA LISA - ughh no better title :(

2006-10-31T17:17:00.000+04:00

Life becomes miserable .She is misunderstood.

Not that she gives any particular importance to it .

She becomes cheap enough to write about it .

Writing , a cheap thrill , an opportunity to make oneself the hero of every situation.

She misuses this opportunity.

She holds your secrets , secrets she never wanted to know.

Secrets you thrusted upon her.

You think she talks to you with ears wide open and talks to him with mouth wide open.

But if she wishes to reveal any of your trivial secrets ,you will never recover from the extent of damage it will cause.

She knows more than you think she does.

Now if you wish to question her "what do you know?"
She shall react as this woman did

THE VATZ FEST

2006-10-21T21:06:00.000+04:00

time 4:00pm
ME: hey vas you are coming to GERMAN HALL right?
VASINI(my cousin): yeah sure .....meet you at 6:00 at the venue

time 6:00pm(when i was on my way to GERMAN HALL)
VAS: am sorry i cant come
ME:What? why? how come?:O
VAS:i just started with my shopping
ME: B@#$@ dont do this to me
VAS:Camon let it be a learning experience go on gal , try to attend a show all alone, you are 18
ME:whaaaat are you ....

SHE SLAMMED THE PHONE DOWN

I reached GERMAN HALL and managed to buy a ticket from a woman who is supposed to be horrible.
I called up vasini twice and she managed to miss my call both times.

Then after what seemed an eternity the doors were opened.
In we all went and managed to find a LUCKY SEAT:P

Iam not afraid of the dark. BUT
SEMI DARKNESS scares the hell out of me :(
The hall was shrouded in semidarkness :((
I was hoping for some stronger source of light or atleast total darkness :(
Nothing happened for a while

A guy came up on stage and screamed something in a stupid fake accent.
The first band came on stage and did a pathetic job.(or thts what people said)
I was quite bored (or rather chilled to the spine under the effect of the semi darkness)until SKRAT came up on stage.
Theirs seemed much better than most others.(plus the ~~drummist~~ drummer on stage happened to be my friend ).Once they performed "holding on" i found myself adjusting to the strange semidark environment (i guess thts because id heard tht song once before)

Then came "Wreckage Avenue" ...and trust me they stole the show.The head banging crowd actually attempted head banging only when they came on stage.

AND then they made me realise that this was a rock show .

LEssons learnt

1)never trust VaS.
2)iam 18 but semi darkness is scary:((
3)iam NOT ashamed of the above fact because iam NOT afraid of compelete darkness.
4)Music can give you a mild headache(rock only).
5)Lead singers can take their shirts off if they are on a high.
6)Iyengars are good at preaching christianity.
7)IF any of your friends say "i might come to the VATZ fest" , it means they wont .

Check out www.steevevatz.com

there seems to be a free download of Steve vatzs latest album (Close your eyes)

PS: steve vatz is the guy behind the vatz fest.

PPS: what on earth is wrong with blogrolling.com ? why are all the blogs marked as updated?

transcendental love ,simple yet magical

2006-10-14T18:15:00.001+04:00

He came up to her , dressed in an immaculate fashion , a black tuxedo and a greyish tie,shiny hair waving in the gentle night breeze

She stood there , her lissomely form resplendent in the tranquil gleam of the lady moon.

Ah those eyes aflame , she yearned to peep into those wells of wisdom.

His very eyes which ,were brimming with confidence and love as the usual was , today held additionally a twinkle of satire unknown to this purely innocent creature.

Her smile captured many a heart but his was too strong to be caught in the web of his little elfkin.

As he neared her , she felt the familiar rush of joy ,how dear he was to her!

As he neared his little miss charming ,some part of his inside felt warm and cosy.
But he was not about to melt down and hence managed to gain a manly control of his emotions.

She too was not about to melt down yet and hide she did ,her emotions with a deftness sensed by him and him alone.

She looked up to him, his splendour and intensity his knowledge of everything under the sun.

He looked up to her , her piercing expressions,adroitness and of course her amazing ability to connect and make magic with people.

Noiselessly he moved close to her and repeated those magic words her ears had been waiting to hear for years

"Oh my sweet little elfkin.Big brother loves you of course"

And thence blossomed their transcendental love , quite contrary and superior to the blind misinterpretations of carnalism that seems to rule the whole world.

PS: Err.... someone suggested this topic.

And yeah i did watch "PASA MALARGAL" on jaya TV this afternoon.

2006-10-11T19:27:00.000+04:00

terminate my word
i know its not quite preferred

terminate my action
its insensible thats my realisation

terminate my thought
aha that you cannot

:P

well this is amazing http://ocw.mit.edu/OcwWeb/index.htm

Massacheusetts institute of tech has an opencourse ware feauture
I did view one video lecture on Kirchoffs laws.
The prof was very good ...he practically demonstrated KCL.

CAUGHT RED HANDED BRANDED SCHIZOPHRENIC

2006-10-04T20:55:00.000+04:00

Engineering ....still wondering why i took it up .

The kutcheri mood is yet to go off my mind .

Iam supposed to get into the semester mood.

I did try ....well if u call collecting notes and resources as a step towards improvement.

I realised too late that half my notes are filled with nOtEs,cartoons,leaves , flowers ,smileys,poems.....and THIS .(unfortunately my mother read through this while cleaning my room :(

DEATH DECLARATION

if i happen to die on the fifth of april 2007 MISS J will be held responsible for it .

SIgned
supriya

I agree to the above

SIgned
J
PS this was solemnly declared at the end of my devices answer sheet

This was because MISs J coloured the date APRIL 5th BLack in her diary and
That made me really mad !!!!!!(i was born on april 5th you knoe )

Wish i had a pic of it .......but its been torn into pieces

Mom wanted to know whether i had gone mad :(

I said "yes"

She said "such thoughts at this age :("

I said "we were playing the fool"

She said "you are going to become schizophrenic"

I said "please ......its personaaaaaal leave me alone"

She said "fine......your thoughts maybe strange and different .....but stop this nonsense"

:((

*embarassed *

I opened my machines book .......lost interest ......recorded mere mehboob for the Nth time........

Iam now reading RON FRY'S "how to study "

MOM :how long are you going to learn how to study

ME : Till i learn it indeed

MOM: go to bed

ME: fine ....

and here iam typing some crap ........i cant help this at all ....

Iam off to bed

ahhh.....sleep the brother of death beckons me

reread the above line and also my declaration

MOOOOM take your eyes off my blog .....its personal

MOM: SLeep .....brother of death? please stop those thoughts

ME: ok ok .....

GOtta publish and go offline

TATA

2006-09-30T13:12:00.000+04:00

She stood alone, her lithe form illuminated by the gentle moonlight
Gently she looked down into the abyss below and thought ..."how blue "
The negativity shrouded her mind , she was in turmoil.
To do or not to do.
She considered her options "Do or die?"

Nah.... There were two options "Die .......or die"
The next day's obituary column loomed in front of her eyes.
A gradual descent into the deep blue?
Or a gradual ascent into the light blue?
Was she going up by going down?
A fraction of a second she took and made her decision.

Off she went ......off she went .......off she went

The next day the obituary column escaped those eyes .
Close to this , there was a column about extreme sports
Her picture was in it .
She had successfully overcome her fear.
She loved the sport of parasailing,
The happiness engulfed her soul .....ah the very pleasure of seeing her face in the paper .......seeing her name in print

GODESSES SO DIVINE

2006-09-24T09:22:00.000+04:00

Parween sultana

The ultimate goddess ...... shes keeping me alive here

cant you see, iam struggling for words?
the second woman is undoubtedly MS subbalakshmi(no words again)
M.S.Subbalakshmi Dolayam

2006-09-15T19:01:00.000+04:00

Another week has passed quite uneventfully .

ogay ....update

Sunday : SILLUNU ORU KAADHAL- okish good bad movie

Monday : vetti .... online trying to learn "enta muddo ", the TNS way

Tuesday : vetti .....major kalaai of a classmate
Plus a bit of EMILY OF NEW MOON

Wednesday: vetti..... spoke with my dear cousin after a long time
plus a bit of THE TALISMAN

Thursday : vetti .....watched Vetayadu Vilayadu ( unwanted raping ...yuck)
plus major kalaai and fooling of the same classmate

Friday : Supposed to meet KR ( dint have the mood so dint)
Supposed to meet sarathy mama for a jolly music session (dint have the mood so dint )...agreed agreed still vetti

Saturday : Some kinda rehearsal at KRS audi ....hope it turns out well

Well .....brother of death....sleep beckons me ....( though iam half dead all the time )

Have a look at that ..... six out of seven days i have been vetti .

The other left out day i seem to have spent watching a movie .

Which makes me vettier than the vettiest .

Not good not good not good not good not good not good not good .......

UPDATE :

The happiness has returned and i have gained eternal leisure

THings are turning my way ( can i say that?) All that ive ever been yearning for has arrived like a bolt out of the clear sky? Pensiveness has returned to me ....i have regained the ability to sleep with my eyes open ...the ability to stop the thought process..... Thoughtlessness has returned .. and iam thinking too much about it :(

2006-09-09T20:07:00.000+04:00

Its sixty years since we gained independence.

Join the Human Chain

As India enters its 60th year of Independence, CNN-IBN and IBNLive.com invite you to join hands with us and celebrate. Become an inseparable link of a human chain and show your solidarity towards your country. Let the cheer of unity resound and reverberate. Lend a hand and make a difference. Today!

Iam part of the human chain .

I dont know why but a sudden sense of patriotism has creeped into me after seeing that chain .

Hats off to the people behind it .

Attacked

2006-09-06T18:27:00.000+04:00

Day : saturday

Scene 1: Me at home (bunked college )

Simultaneously

Place: college , staff room

Characters involved : 1)machines prof ( Lets call him MR panthil )
2)A friend ( lets call her Miss Scenedevi)

Topic of discussion : me :(

Panthil : scenedevi hows your friend supriya ?

Scenedevi : sorry sir i dont get you

Panthil : is she alright? does she have any ...err ......problem ?

Scenedevi : shes quite fine sir.... i dont get u

Panthil : illa classla she reacts differently to my teaching.
oru typa paakaraa.Am unable to understand her reactions.

Scenedevi : sir ???

Panthil : Iam able to judge all 63 of you

But supriya ....am unable to judge her ..she seems so different from the rest of you .

Scenedevi : sir ?

Panthil : yes she seems different from the rest of you

Scenedevi : sir .....shes a bit absent minded .her mom has told me that she is .

Panthil : aaaahn absent minded? adhaana .... no wonder she seemed ....different

SOURCE: miss scenedevi ( i refused to believe this until a few other witnesses asserted that she was speaking the truth)

My analysis

Things that might have made him say such a thing ::

1) a few months back
Place: college

TIme : 2:35 (note :the break ends at 2:30 )

I had gone to the canteen to witness my friend(confused creature) drink empty calories and reached the machines lab at 2: 45

Time : 2:45

Panthil : why are you late ?

Me : sir my watch stopped running ( read this for better understanding )

Whole class bursts out laughing

2) I slept in the machines lab and when woken up by panthil gave him a rude nod

My possible course of action

1) confront panthil and ask him to stop backbiting

2) Try to please panthil by acting alert in class

3) Try to irritate panthil by giving him my trademark stare ( as people call my innocent glance ) in class

4)Kill scenedevi for telling panthil that iam absent minded

What should i do ?

HAPPINESS

2006-09-02T09:36:00.000+04:00

No words i have

to describe my feeling right now

the picture speaks ...... through our eyes

Let the happiness prevail.

Mokkai with pullaiyar

2006-08-27T11:50:00.000+04:00

I did eat the kozhukattai before pullaiyar could. Hope hes not angry with me . After all hes the guy who did a bit of thillumullu for the sake of the gnyana pazham.

Paatti has been following me all around the house asking me to sing some song on pulliar in the raagam sauraashtram .

After a small game of hide and seek with her i finally found amazingly calming loneliness in my room.

Next ,parween sultana started singing aahir bhairav .By the time i was through with her my dad pestered me to have lunch with him.

So i just left the music on and had lunch with dad.

Mom suddenly realised that i had left the fan running in my room .

She started off about how irresponsible iam and so on and on and on ......until dad came to my rescue and said "paavum parween sultana is singing ......she needs the fan"

Mom surprised me by saying "ayyo ...why does parween need another fan when my daughter is here?"

God ...quite jittery and funny my family has become .

Next i asked dad "finally you are giving more than a damn to hindustani music ....is it ?"

Dad said "ive always loved hindustani music.Its wonderful, brilliant for people like me who are slow when it comes to music.......because...... you can put the music on , sleep for an hour and wake up and you will still find the singer singing the same swaram"

me : grrrrr....mokkai..... iam sorry i agreed to have lunch with you
dad: i saved you from amma's thittu just in case youve forgotten
me:yes yes ...thank you

After a while when everyone was in a lighter mood

Dad: iam going to quit my job and lead a spiritual life
Mom: iam going to take up a job
Me: appa you already are a henpecked husband ...i would strongly advise you not to quit the job.
Mom: how dare you call him a henpecked husband ?
Dad: how dare you ?
Me (scuttling back to my room ) : Reality bites

Yeah theres been a sani bhagavaan on my tongue for quite a while thats been bothering people a lot ....gosh ...its the fever thts making me write this crap .

PS :hows the pullaiar ? you can safely call tht a work of a delirious girl whos too lazy to go to bed !

IT HAPPENED TO US

2006-08-20T15:38:00.000+04:00

A brilliant IV we had. Every minute was incredibly hilarious. It opened new vistas in the the lives of a bunch of tired kids who were caught up too much in the monotony of everyday routine. It was a forum, a platform which brought out the hidden talents of the seemingly bored last benchers or eternally sleeping first benchers.(thts second EEE for you, you can never find a total nerd).I did learn a lot from this IV.

Hehe let the vaaral padalam begin……Things I learnt from this IV

1) day1: sleep belongs to the stupidest of people…..
from left bhavatha jose santosh harini and janani

2) day2:monkeys are scarier than tigers (yes yes that chemistry mokkai lady )

sleeping beauty

3) day3: THE RING
Well this is what happened ……I bought this ring (note: appreciate me, I spotted and bought it) which reacts to your body temperature and changes color according to your mood.
The color coding goes like this

GREEN: romantic mood
BLUE: relaxed and happy

thts the DS prof (oops lecturer...)
note the ring ....brilliant green)

4) Day 3: some people have this amazing ability to take you to the nearest bustop and still show you around the whole of blore. Gawd we seemed to be walking for eternity. (Hehe ….but we did spot KANTI SWEETS where we had mouth melting panneer sandwiches and super cold badam milk).
5) day4:
Ram, santosh and Jose haven’t lost this ability to show you around the whole of blore before taking you to the hotel

Add to this a wonderful misadventure where a slightly crazy guy was constantly yelling at us in hip hop lingo because we paraded the train and disturbed his sleep.

Well it was really late before we discovered that he was drunk .

NOTE: I will not speak about how one chicken of a classmate changed from a red shirt to a black shirt because that “loosu payyan “(as we called him) had identified his red shirt. His name starts with S, ends with Osh and an ant runs in between.

Add to the above the wonderful Fig RUM and almond ice-cream ishu and I had at forum

Add to this the yucky vegetable pizza roll we had (we threw outta the bus) at McDonald’s.

Add to the above the wonderful dance we witnessed in the bus (gayatri repakka and of course our great DS teacher)

Oops … most important ……

The trip to ISCKON temple

A heart warming experience….we went in through the “hare rama hare Krishna “route.
That speaks for it …. I was elated at every step taken forward and was perfectly delighted to chant “hare Rama hare Rama Rama rama hare hare hare Krishna hare Krishna Krishna Krishna hare hare “ 108 times ….wonderful especially when your classmates are around.

The trip to Shiva temple

Though it was more a museum than a temple, we did have a pleasant time ….. Serene Atmosphere ….good vibrations ….but we all agreed on the fact that the bhakthi was missing because of the artificiality of the place.

the temple as such was a very nice place because of the peppermint prasadam .

ISCKON was unique in its biscuit prasadam

THE TRIP TO LALBAGH
deep meditation under the tree

Oops forgot to mention, we went to BHEL and learnt about how solar panels are made. Lady rep was one of the few who took down notes. (She’s too sincere for words).

2006-08-15T21:02:00.000+04:00

Things i did today ( note : independence day )

1) woke up at 7:00 and got blasted (i was spsd to report at 7:30)
2)felt sleepy and hence forgot the lyrics of the song (i just stood silently on stage )
3) travelled in the bus without a ticket !
4)started to KRs place at 11:00 for the class at 11:00
5)ate grilled corn with lemon and butter
6)played the fool at madhus place .slept five hours straight until she kicked me out of bed
7)watched a part of arindhum ariyamalum
8) had a wonderful family dinner with athai shanthi ananth appa amma paatti and of course niru, my niece
9)danced with my one and a half yr old niece (she turned out to be better than me )
8) blogged (hurray !)

2006-08-03T18:51:00.000+04:00

wonderful wonderful the cake has arrived.dearest cousin priyu is turning .....err eleven or twelve .
nobody is letting me type ........just want to pause life right now and make a written record of it ...........

woohooo...its party time ......its raining outside .........wow

well well now that nobody is around ........

all of us have heard the tale of satyavan and savitri .The following lines from "the savitri "have been bothering me or rather affecting me for the past two years .

THE BOOK OF ETERNAL NIGHT

Towards the black void

" so was she left alone in the huge wood

surrounded by the dim unthinking world

her husbands corpse lay on her forsaken breast

in her vast silent spirit motionless

she measured not her loss with helpless thoughts

nor rent with tears the marble seals of pain

she rose not yet to face the dreadful god

over the body she loved her soul leaned out

in a great stillness without stir or voice

as if her mind had died with satyavan

the human heart in her still beat on

closely she clasped the mute lifeless form

as though to guard the oneness they had been

to keep the spirit still within its frame

then suddenly there came a change on her

which in tremendous moments of our lives

can overtake sometimes the human soul

and hold it up towards its luminous source"

Myth or not , i firmly believe that savitri is indeed the true example of a woman of power for she faced the god with no fear , no tears (lines 5 and 6 clearly show the kind of inner strength she had developed )

PS

i did not learn those lines (mugging as you may call it ).Its just that repeated reading has engraved them upon my soul .

2006-07-30T14:36:00.000+04:00

Well well , the department of electrical engineering is pathetic when it comes to planning industrial visits ,in my college.We are still in the process of getting permission for the trip while the CSc dept. has already started to cochin silently.The sound of silence is wonderful as ever .The darkness had set in and had already enveloped my soul some weeks back. I enjoy it better than anyone on earth . A faceless creature with an ability to suck the life out of you.The trip, i hope will be good. A wonderful time ahead? hehe yes a wonderful time ahead, loads of fun with the whole class around.Class, ahh why do people lack class? Shroud the mind with a damp cloak and enjoy the guilt.Expectations suck your soul out dont they? hehe .BHEL ,HLA,GTRE , the talk of the classroom nowadays.Laughter ,merriment and excited faces.But enlightenment comes only when the creature is faceless.Shameful, shameful.The HOD of course is being cursed for the conditions she lays out .Conditions ,conditions rise with expectations.Every point i can defy , every idea i can contradict , every thing i can prove false but here has been born the unique, tasteless ,nauseating falsehood that brands the faceless creature as one that waits to pounce when given a chance.The whole college is buzzing with activity ,every second person is talking about the industrial visit. Talking , yes talking , speaking , wounding , hurting , killing very easy to do quite difficult to undo especially when the stage of killing has been reached.Killing? uhuh killed....murdered, cut from the inside though the knife stays outside.Beheading can we call it?hehe after all how can beheading affect the one that is faceless? The I T dept. is leaving to blore this week and something's been burning inside our class ever since weve been hearing of it .Hearing is better than seeing ?Or seeing better ? Or best when deaf and blind? Atleast the cheap pleasure of writing exists.A pain of course to read, a real pain when the content is typed by the faceless anonymous life sucking someone.We do not know how we can show our faces to our friends from the other departments when they ask us why we havent planned an industrial visit .Faceless ahhh shameful that the faceless stays unmoved , the faceless does not ever react to situations.A Mongolian idiot? yes yes a faceless Mongolian idiot with a bloated expressionless face.A cheap faceless Mongolian idiot whose hands reach the keyboard in this search for peace.The pleasure of writing , so cheap yet too tempting to let go.I just hope we come up with a good place for the I v and have a blast too. The search for the truth is often mistaken for the search for friendship .However everyone in class is waiting to insult the other who comes up with stupid places for the I v. How misconceptions give one the amazing strength to generate words of insult. The noton is incredible, full of falsehood.A character of solid gold ? no way..A character that realises things very late.A villain i have become drowned in the ocean of malice and treachery .Already drowned already murdered already dead and you want to spit on the face of this dead body .Hehe how can you spit on the face of a faceless creature that died sometime back ? a week back to be precise .

Realisation dawns upon a dimwit? hehe

2006-07-25T21:15:00.000+04:00

YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENTER

"THE SUBTLE WORLD"

WARNING: TRESPASSERS ARE REQUESTED
TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR BRAINS.
I SHALL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE
FOR THE LOSS OF YOUR SANITY.

Another week has passed quite uneventfully . oops somebody has been pestering me to write a poem. So here goes,

I woke up one fine day,
my head full of clay
with that liquid i wanted to play
i was saved from going astray
but now i say" give me an ash tray "

Dearest , now you know why poems irritate me especially when penned by me .

Well well , back to serious work

Another week has passed quite uneventfully .

BEST DAY OF LAST WEEK

Sunday

WHY
I got this wonderful opportunity to teach someone a song in Aahir bhairav.

WORST DAY OF LAST WEEK

Sunday

WHY

Two lunatics found their way out of the asylum and also managed to gain access to the internet.
well, make it three if you insist on including me .

THINGS I ACHIEVED LAST WEEK

Made one totally non musical person realise that Aahir bhairav is soul stirring.

Bugged my bench mates by singing every hour of the day .(call it life time achievment )

Scored 47 /50 in that stupid EVS test.

(tried to boast abt that to my mom .Invariably she snubbed me saying "come on ,thats the subject u did in primary school)

Helped my mom prepare for those communication development classes ,she will be handling shortly .

Made my dad yell at me (!!!! happens once in six months !!!)

Stayed without any cold drinks (ahem ahem ) till today .

MOST IMPORTANT ACHIEVMENT

scene 1: mom dad radio TV etc wake me up at 6:00 am

scene2: i wake up and lock myself in the adjacent bedroom (with attached bath)

scene3: i doze off in that bedroom till 7:30am

scene 4:Thud thud thud they bang the door

scene5: i wake up and yell "wait ...showering "

Scene repeats for several days .

They still havent figured out that i sleep about one and a half hours extra everyday under the pretext of bathing.

The best way to put an end to my ravings ?

fine , iam hitting the sack .

Will stay off this window for another week

Cheer up . (wish somebody could cheer me up! sigh)

SUPREME REVELATIONS

2006-07-17T16:05:00.000+04:00

The only way to plenitude is ,being denied all the good things of life.

A week back, i feared the sound of silence.But today the very voice of silence gladdens my heart.

Some time back , i feared the night .This was not the normal, childish fear of the darkness.Infact, i would rather call it an aversion harboured because of the illusive notion that intellectual capabilities are crushed when darkness sets in .

Today i realise that the brightness of the daylight creates a glare that destroys the inner self while on the other hand the subtle luminiscence of the night helps one to unleash the most puissant of his thoughts.

A secret perfection i can attain in that odd hour , unknown to the rest of mankind .An ethereal world it is ,filled with silence and darkness.

I woudnt dare to call it an inner silence .

My inside remains noisy even in that odd hour but yet in that very noise i sense a silence that gives me pure joy.

In silence and darkness lies the most tender joy.Solitude is bliss.
Pain and joy one can treat alike when he is blessed with the gift of solitude.

Thus today the reality of things has struck me as supreme and quite contrary to the misinterpretations of the blind senses.

Revelations

2006-07-10T17:48:00.000+04:00

even if i borrow shoes i will not be let into tht machines lab ,if iam late.

iam only slightly shorter than the door to our machines lab.

theres no point in wearing a watch that does not run even if i derive a trivial pleasure in admiring its beauty .

my machines prof . is shorter than me and all his lame attempts to intimidate me by calling out my name in various villanous tones are wasted because of this fact.

a good senior can cajole the prof. into letting me inside .

pepsi is injurious to health .

pepsi in transparent cups reminds me of booze in a logal wine shop.

pepsi was available too far away and hence i was late .

pepsi contains empty calories.

i didnt drink it today :P

once i entered the lab i was wishing for liberation .

iam human and am never satisfied with what i have.

iam emotionally affected by what i dont have .

will get rid of this emotional attachment .

emotional sentimental bondings are obstacles to success.

iam gonna get a real hard kick for that sentence, but still iam going to quit being dependent on the people around me .

independent approach is proportional to happiness.

standing outside the lab makes me sleepy(even staying inside does) and hence i blame my sleepiness for those radical thoughts.

ogay not radical , mokkai .

pardoni, just woke up.

PS

The knife is out .It cuts me , cold and shiny. The pain is bliss but the metallic coldness lacerates my soul.

Pain in solitude i cannot share.But pain in solitude, too wicked to bear.Human iam ,i wish i wasnt now.
The darkness envelopes my mind.

The girl that never was ,i want to become.The mind is clear, only of good thoughts.

Evil lures , i sense the fact.

Enticing evil, unstable mind , all i can do is to wait for the path of later on.

I knoe it leads to that huge edifice that will crumble the instant the destination is reached.

Solitude, i love but this cave is dank and dark.

Iam trying to scream but i am voiceless today.

The sound of thunder i do not fear .

The sound of silence is what i fear.

2006-07-05T18:30:00.000+04:00

Quite recently , i discovered myself harbouring insane thoughts .

Thoughts that defy logic of any kind seem to have gained sudden entry into my mind.

Iam still wondering whether my perspective of the world is influenced by whats inside me or the world influences the way iam, on the inside .

I am certain about the fact that external happenings affect me.

But , do these incidents mould my inner being?

Or is it because of whats inside me that iam easily affected by the world?

Iam sensitive to anything that happens around me.
Sensitiveness here should not be confused with acts of crying or mourning.

Sensitive iam in my own way , i would rather call it an alertness to subtle notions that are quite not often perceived by the mind .

The good old "food chain" taught me that every creature on earth is influenced or affected by other beings.

Atleast an invisible thread of connection is essential for coexistence.

That would easily justify my vulnerability to being affected by external thoughts or incidents.

There comes the contradiction .

I strongly feel that no thing on earth is bound by another thing.

Every object is an independent entity .

It is the mind , so vast and aimless that it is , that connects things and creates havoc or even productive results at times.

Even as i write this sentence i realise that each word is an entity.The mind connects the words , makes up a sentence and adds colour by assuming a meaning to it .

The conclusion i ended up with was that nothing is dependent on anything.

i just reread the above sentence " no thing is dependent on any thing"

So "no thing" or that which is "void" depends on anything or rather "everything"?

Thus there is a connection after all , i realise ,though its my mind that made it , it seems to exist.

And deep inside, i shall continue to be affected by external happenings even if i seem to be someone that cannot react openly to situations .

2006-07-02T18:34:00.000+04:00

Pudhupettai... hardly a name that evokes interest . Sorry folks , wrong again i was in assuming that any Dhanush movie would involve just loads of childish screams from the hero.

Of course he screamed..... screamed a lot alright ,but there was a general appeal about the movie..A hint of realism .... ran throughout the plot, inspite of it being an adapted version.Just a hint of realism .... the good old superstar style where the hero is suddenly blessed with infinite energy was still prevalent.

Here's the plot in a nutshell:

Boy...... bad family backround.....dad kills mom..... also wants to kill the boy ....... after all he has another family (so who cares about this boy?)

boy runs away .... begs on the streets(hes a hero and hence he wont steal)........ gets involved with the police....... joins the gud old "thanni dhum pottalam pottu thallara" gang

gang works under a politician of the opposing party ...... boy proves to be a loser at doing the bad stuff ....... one fine day he gains "sudden energy" and kills the brother of the ruling party head.....becomes a celebrity .... goes on ..... kills his own boss(for the sake of a woman)

he becomes a big bad man(oops small bad man).

.....kills his father ....... marries one woman quite suddenly .. ......then another(first thought it was the other woman's dream .....but it turned out to be real) ........ gets a baby ....... gets thrown out of the party by the "self centered " evil politician

....... kills ..... loses his friend..... almost loses his baby .....kills ........ gets jailed.....screams like a madman in the jail (well that was supposedly an attempt to narrate the story to us)...... is escorted out of the jail (here we all think hes gonna be hung to death)

............only to be given the post of MLA.......and there it ends (one wife dies .....other remarries and then goes mad.......baby's whereabouts unknown )

Things i liked about the movie :

1) visual appeal
the beginning of the song "varriyaa"...... where Dhanush gets drugged(slightly copied from aalavandhan's ecstacy effect)
the last part where he "hits while dancing"..... the kaadhal konden style( the BGM was brilliant here)
the smart way in which litres of blood was shed ....without the viewers saying"oh gross"

2) Dhanush's expression while dancing with the guitar
(not bad for what he is)

3) BGM..... though seemed to be majorly flicked from various sources ..... it lessened the effect of the violence in the movie and was quite good to listen to

4) The song sung by kamal hassan(well i can enjoy anything as long as kamal is involved )......the last song when the hero approaches the supposedly dead baby. The visual effects were pretty good in these songs too.

5)The non sentimental unconditional relationship between the members of the gang.(pretty kewl .... no "en nanbanukkaaga uyira kuduppen " kinda senti dialogues.

Things that struck me as odd

1) Why why why did the hero realise that he could use the gun to kill...... only when the movie was nearing the interval time?

2) why didnt he use the gun much even after the very late realisation?
(he either used the "aruvaal" or buried them alive)

3) Why should the hero be smitten so much by "sonia agarwaal"...... things went out of hand when he fell for the bride .....and married her all of a sudden..... and one more doubt ......does mere tying the sacred thread around a woman's neck legalise a marraige even today?

4) What kind of biological apparatus does the hero have...... i mean he wants two women ...... both of them...... and most of the time.....(cant figure out how an innocent 12th std kid developed a sudden ravenous appetite for ...... women )

5)Why are people are easily intimidated by this very small bad man whose impulsive actions were quite funny.

6) Why he rolled his eyes like crazy every time the wrath sparked in him?( cmon tht didnt scare anybody.......just made me laugh)

7) Why does Sneha develop an emotional attachment for dhanush ?

shes just a tart and if any of you have read this novel called "EVE" by Chase ....... you will realise that such women are way too suave ........in "EVE"........the call girl called Eve is one unattached woman ...... her abstractness , subtleness and silent mockery of the writer who falls for her just strike the reader as stylish and real........whereas here the woman falls for the hero like the good "Tamil heroine"...... in crude words .....she lacked "the thimiru"...and was a loser.

8) Why were the "aruvaals" and "Swords " so fake and shiny .....even slightly old movies used realistic aruvaals.

9)How can a man get everything he wants ..... .......there was a kind of propagation of villanous acts as the only way to achieve success

10) the tag line was "survival of the fittest".......... "survival of the wickedest"........would suit it better

11) Why should the hero be nicknamed as "kokki kumar"?(even he dint knoe it and accepted the fact)............. the way he was yearning for women .........he should be called "pakki kumar"

SNIPPETS

dhanush told some pressmen that he had got soo involved in the character called kokki kumar that he ended up raising his voice for every sentence to be uttered even in real life.........well when was he softspoken?.....dont remember

2006-06-26T20:51:00.000+04:00

Iam the ego that is creating problems.

The only reason for this unhappiness is the way i have been living life all these years .

I have suddenly realised that there are various unexplored dimensions of me that seem to slap me on the face and remind me that iam very conceited .

They seem to magnify the fact that i think too much of myself .

And writing these things are not going to make me seem humble.
Iam not writing this to prove that iam very unassuming and modest.
Its just that i have gotten into this sudden realisation of the fact that i have got a swollen head.

Again i say , just because i accept my haughtiness iam not going to become a virtuous person . There lies the technicality , i badly want to let out this confusingly simple thought .

But i know that truly humble people never do such things.
They never show off their thoughts like iam doing right now.
they never go about mourning about how haughty they are or how humble they are . Philosophical people never say things like "iam the ego". They know it and silently brood over it

. Its only the half baked philosophical knowledge which people like me have got that often appears in print.
I just realised that writing this post is also making me a "show off" .And just because i realised it i dont become a "non -show off".

Iam still the good old kind of person that brags about how he knows that writing such stuff makes him a "show off".

The fact that iam still "showing off" inspite of knowing it makes me conceited all the more

Then, theres this part of my me which asks" what are you bragging about ? your thoughts are not worth being called as those of a show off"

Iam trying to get out of this trap of self-conceitedness where theres a chain reaction in which open acceptance of the realisation of my malicious self-conceitedness is making me a bit more conceited.

And this realisation of this chain reaction is making me a lot more haughty.

P.S
i have not sold my brain to the anna university. Whatever little i have is quite intact .

Isnt that statement making me a little more swollen in the head?

leave me alone !

2006-06-24T14:23:00.000+04:00

Things i intend to do these holidays

1) play baski every morning ( 6:00am.......hi hopes)
2) hunt for a hindusthani guru
3) get back to those yoga classes
4) read "The savithri " and start reading "The life divine"
5) pester mr kasturi rangan(my guru) to teach me another padam and probably coax him into teaching me some hindusthani based stuff
6) learn a bit of bio-chem from madhu (though its not going to help me at all)
7) make another trip to blore ( yayy....... bak to perippa's beautiful home ........ the romantic roads .......... silent mornings...... solitude at its best !)
8) quit acting like a grown up (sick of doing it)
9) freak out with my friends( hrmmmph...... theyve already started without me ..... ungrateful wretches )
10) watch as many movies as i can
11) do some shopping in blore
12) explore chennai once i get back ......... need to understand some parts of the city

Things somebody wants me to do these holidays

1) be her date manager
2) suggest good places for her to freak out with ..... the guy
3) lend my membership at elloor to her ......... and also accompany her in all expeditions
4) be her constant travel companion to all dates ........ but disappear once the guy arrives (thoooo i cant do this)
5) teach her all the routes leading to her home .............. (cant make out why......when the "bike" man is there)
6)constantly scold her for drifting away from the right path ( she wants the wrong path ...... and also some chiding........ crazy beyond words)
7)whenever shes on the phone with "you know who" .......... linger around .......and warn her of approaching enemies ....... yeah the good old sentry job....... so tht the groundnut business runs efficiently .
8) whenever she feels guilty about writing these exams badly ......give her reassurance that she will clear all papers ......... impossible esp when iam in a similar state.
9) never complain if gross negligence is meted out to me for upto 4 hrs.........
10) bear with her mushy flowery stories.....and say "oh cho chweet".......(sickening)
11) get blasted every time i speak ill of "the guy"
12) constantly tell her that shes a very good gal and that being commited is not a bad thing (thts one thing i cannot ever do)

psssst ....... committed idiotos can make life hell for you .....

2006-06-18T08:22:00.000+04:00

Inquisitiveness , freedom of expression and eternal leisure are the only three things that can feed the soul and help you stay human.

I just realised that my sensitiveness to the fall of a leaf would take me higher in the ladder of life than any examination score.

Infinite time is exactly what i need in order to nourish my soul with the sweet nectar of thoughtlessness.

And only from thoughtlessness will phenomenal thoughts arise.

I am just waiting to throw away my thoughts into this bonfire of aspiration and lead an austere life , simple and frugal without the malicious twists and turns that shroud the mind.

I am still desperate to delve into the concept of how the caterpillar transforms itself into the spectacular butterfly while the current education system is forcing me into learning about how the time domain transforms itself into the frequency domain (laplace tranform).

Its not just the education system ,the whole society repels me in its vulgar display of conservativeness .The minute a child starts asking questions, his voice is drowned in this well of screams.........loud screams of the so called adults .... that despise change of any kind.

Worse still ,the child is ostracised and humiliated in a manner such that he himself puts an end the process of thinking.

Iam not "just another teenager" who wants to say that the whole society is "f^*$@#@ narrow minded".

Our society is brilliant in its own way. Infact it had been one of the best both in terms of spirituality and prosperity aeons back .

However a miniscule section of the society that is actually not influenced by western ideas , constantly asserts that it follows western theories and ends up with a nauseating mix of indian and western ideas and creates havoc .

Of course a blend of indian and western thoughts is a must ...........but the composition of the blend is what matters .

For instance.......when a child wants to know about the caterpillar , he must be taught everything about the caterpillar , its life cycle, the cocoon, the butterfly , the bird, the parachute , the aircraft and then finally about latest developments in aerospace applications.

But here the fundas are done in a hurried manner and all of a sudden a student finds himself doing a bachelors degree with no idea about what he is doing .

The creativity is killed at the very beginning .......,..Our parents are strict with us but in the wrong things .......

I wish the society would allow me to enjoy my space , my privacy , my identity and let me live life the way i want to .

The way i want to live my life will definitely not be bad ....in fact it will turn out to be more diciplined.......because i make the choice here , i nurture my passions and chase my dreams ........and whether i succeed or fail ......in both cases i will be held responsible .

In my effort to prevent failure i will lead a life of principles and values ........all devised by me .

But it is difficult indeed to change the society .......and i just realised that i make a part of the society(a very miniscule unattended part)) and hence i shall change myself .........as one of my friends very rightly put it ......" you and i are nobody in this society "

2006-06-13T09:16:00.000+04:00

When iam the only person at home i sing ....."odi varugayile kannamma ullam kulirudhadi ".....
When he is at home i sing......."odi varugayile kannamma "......he sings " thadukki vizhundhenadi"

That's appa,the man with the ancient sense of humour.

The only time he ever made me cry was in my sixth standard .......no he didnt scold me ......he was out in the heavy rain and i cried because i was afraid he would lose his way in those extra flooded streets .(the egoist in me has melted )

The only person on earth who ever bothered to make me realise my passions .

Calling him modest would be the greatest understatement of the year.

I now realise why vasini , madhu,shanthi ,sheela and so on consider him as their favourite in the family .

I now realise why all his cousins fight for the "favourite sister" place .......now realise why rama athai's eyes glisten whenever she calls him her " twin ".

All his triplicane road side jokes.......though dismissed as "mokkai " by me ....still enjoyed by this community of cousins i have .

Whenever he wants me to study he merely says " the best way out of guilt is to do whatever u are supposed to be doing at the moment"

Whenever i sit down with my books in front of the T.V he merely says " if its disturbing you just stop it " (with a post script....."i mean your book")

The one who taught me the simplest philosophy of Zen ......" when you are drinking your coffee drink it "

The one who has the patience to travel all the way to my school at gopalpuram and then come back home to bring the "geography map" i left at home .

The one who gets tensed when i say " your boss will fire you today "

I cannot call him my friend .......the way he commands respect ......i must call him my " Mentor ".......The guide.........who will stand by me throughout my life and who was delighted yesterday because he could finally read "The apocalypse watch " .......after a 20 year wait ........( now thts another story .......)

Dearest dad.........happy fathers day

the first proposal

2006-06-11T16:09:00.000+04:00

this happened when i was barely eight or nine.we had a science class and padmaavathy maam was teaching us about how carbondioxide turns lime water milky.everthing was going fine until i had this sudden urge to get up and ask her"maam what is lime water?" the much bewildered teacher either did not knoe wat lime water was or thought i was too stupid to understand that it is a solution of calcium hydroxide.
then started the trouble

paddu : what is water?
me: it is a substance
paddu:what is a substance?
me: it is a thing
paddu :what is a thing?
me: maam is lime water the same as lemon juice?
paddu: sit down dont disturb the class

i sat down and the boy sitting behind me asked very demurely
"will you marry me ?"

and then i told paddu "maam this boy wants to marry me".......paddu merely told him "dont ask such things " and made us sit down.
ps. all of a sudden iam in this extra nostalgic mood .....so beware ....my forthcoming posts might revolve around my childhood ........gawd iam supposed to be doing e mech and i just realised tht iam nothing but an
"e makk "(thts makku)

2006-05-30T16:33:00.000+04:00

there are two kinds of abnormality ,the normal abnormality and the abnormal abnormality.Normal abnormality puts me off because its normal.After all there is no point in trying to be abnormal if u actually are not.Being" normally abnormal " is equal to seeking attention .Seeking attention is an inborn human trait and hence its a normal thing to be normally abnormal. In fact it is really good to be normally abnormal because people will realise that you are normal after all.And now shifting to the abnormal abnormality ....this is where all the trouble starts.A person with abnormal abnormality is aware of this fact and is constantly channelising his energy into transforming himself into a normal person .This is the kind of person who fears abnormality and reassures himself and everybody around him that he is normal though deep inside he knoes that he is not.And please.......abnormality is not the same as insanity.And being normal doesnt mean tht u are sane.Abnormality is a transition state ..it hangs between being sane and being mad. when u are sane u say that u are mad and when u are mad u say that u are sane. there lies the uniqueness.......the repelling feature of all abnormal people.i know tht abnormality is dangerous and hence i wish people wud stop branding me as abnormal ........

2006-05-26T17:03:00.000+04:00

i wonder why

1) some people call u up early on a rainy morning and say "yendaaa malai(mazhai or rain) paeyudhu??
2) some people have this amazing ability to disappear in sixty seconds
3)some people think tht u are calling them f*&^%&* when u just say wtf generally
4) some people support the most mischevious of people and let u down ....

2006-05-19T19:27:00.000+04:00

one of my vices is that i analyse people and situations .....worse still 90% of my life goes in this vettithanam ......though its a very vetti job it gives me immense delight to ponder .........i wonder about people.... how they behave .......react ...talk.......and iam starting a series of posts each dedicated to a group of people with similar kind of behaviour ........
i wonder why ..
1) some people think that others need "elevators" to rise up to their level ,in order to be good friends with them

2)some people are not constant in their thoughts about whether they are honourable or not .......well one minute they declare tht they are "honourable men if not gentlemen" and the next minute.....they say tht they are not all that honourable

3)some people never think that it bewilders others when they declare that they had been "extra nice" to them in order to shut them up

4)some people confuse others in their actions

oh my god ........i can hear someone yelling "copyright violation"........and hurried fingers on the keyboard......lol this finger was featured on the net..........no offense

2006-05-16T19:52:00.000+04:00

the next time u see a girl hanging onto the foot board of a bus............u can be sure its me ...................not because i want to prove that women can do anything if they really want to.........not because i am competing all those males clinging on for dear life just to prove their masculinity.......not because iam a big time "scenupodara ponnu"..............but because......the inside of the bus has the amazing ability to pump my blood at a whopping rate of 250 litres per second( dont get technical......i have only five litres of blood at the most and am aware of that).here is a dramatisation of the process( call it overdramatisation)

scene1: a tired looking gal waits at the bus stop opposite her college.... fervently hoping tht her extra bald eccentric english prof doesnt board her bus(well he stands there right next to her like the statue of a deadman )

scene2: everyone is squinting (the sun shines really bright here.... thts an optimistic description of this scorching yellow thing tht is constantly bitched about out there).....looking for a bus......and lo behold........here it comes... .the monster of her nightmares ....weighed down by the immense crowd.....tilted beyond safe limits

scene3:this gal is still wishing wildly tht the ba(l)d man doesnt take tht bus......she approaches the footboard, looks apprehensively at the strange faces peering into her eyes ,curses every moron that pushes her one stepdown for every step taken upward

scene4:she is automatically thrusted into this chaotic nightmare filled with dirty hands,spiteful legs(tht injure u ),sweat .,grime ,dust,tobacco........and to add to all this a very ba(l)d english prof who gives her a staretht reminds her of an eagle ,avulture and a dinosaur all put together....

scene5:then suddenly there comes a welcome change.....a classmate is on the same bus and they begin a never ending conversation......centred around how bad all the profs are (theveryba(l)d man is very deaf.......so enzoi)

scene6:classmate leaves the bus....leaves her alone with the very ba(l)d man .......thts wat she thinks until..................

scene7: crash .......her life is ruined............her physics prof had been on the bus all along eaves dropping on the wily conversation(juicy gossip abt which prof had a second marraige......which one is engaged....why ghajini is a good movie....y surya is hot! .....)boohoooo...(this eavesdropping prof is the one who is engaged)

scene8: she gets off the bus at the very next traffic signal (cant survive the hell till even the next stop)

scene9: she smirks because..........she never bought a ticket

well the gal was me and the blog i hope will not be branded as"pseudobitchings" of a maniac

miss x revealed

2006-05-14T17:12:00.000+04:00

this is to a certain person who called me miss x and accused me of posting a blog about a friend and deleting it . i agree with the fact ......but here i have been extremely patient for about two days trying to pretend that nothing has happened. the steam is letting out now and i shall justify my actions with microscopic precision. though i neednt prove myself to anyone i still do it for the sake of preventing any misunderstandings and to maintain a cordial relationship with this someone who thinks that he is the only honourable man on earth........
i made a huge mistake .....blogging about a certain friend saying that she went out on a date with a guy without telling me..........the second mistake was revealing the identity of this friend to this someone who accuses me in his blog.........well i felt really bad........a day of hell i went through ...........because i didnt think about the consequences till very late ...............the very day i called up this friend and told her about the blog.............and about the way i spoke about her to a third person ....................( now this certain someone who accused me wasnt told about this because ........i didnt want him to feel like a third person........i thought it wud make him feel estranged........)..................then my dearest pal abut whom i blogged .........who has such a forgiving heart told me " its just about me supi.......i will never be offended by u ......i knoe u too well.......plus it was just a meet up wid a friend ............no date .......iam sorry for not telling u abt it"........and the meeting was given a "date image" by the mediator (a mischevious mediator whose identity i dont want to reveal ).........i request this certain someone who accused me..... to realise that honourable traits rest not in his soul alone...............but i dont brag about being honourable ...........because.......i dont want to make mountains out of mud holes.............and he must realise tht wen this anon accused him of"spitting venom on a friends back" i actually supported him.........i told the anon tht it wasnt a right thing to do...........and wat do i end up with?..........accusations tht test my intergrity........my friendship with this girl who plays the role of a sister to me.........though it sounds cliched its the truth ..........otherwise she wud have got mad at me ............during my confession..............and now shameem u will realise why i was acting strange these three days...................i dint tell u abt this and allowed u to presume tht the post he was talking abt was the testimonial i wrote for him......................i hope this certain someone realises the inherent meaning of the word "coldness" in my poems at least now.....................it is really a burden too heavy on my heart .................however i thank shameem for starting this issue..............because i feel light now .................

2006-05-13T14:31:00.000+04:00

the veil is torn ........the self no more
yet it seems a mere impression
that leaves phoney satisfaction
delusions happen when the mind is restless
the mind you knoe is not very ubiquitous
"the mind" i stress, not mine alone indeed
with thoughts retraced u might feed
naive it may sound naive i may seem
but this is a bolt, a brawl in my stream
the mask was never meant to be
and everything i say may sound obtuse and wee
the lux ferre........ the light u are no doubt
light shall dispel the darkness but you openly flout
this perseverence of mine to destroy the veil
the veil just seems torn thats what i feel
a reply i left in an effort to hear your say
a reply it is ........brand it wily u may
the veil again ....has been spun
not by me and not by thee
it is an entity that has appeared free
free it is .........free to flee
again i say... u may be the light
the light that dispels darkness
but a light that fails to destroy the coldness
warmth and light go hand in hand
and without the warmth this is where we land

2006-05-12T19:27:00.000+04:00

this is an illusion ... a mirage.
thy presence felt yet not in its compeleteness
a veil i can feel
so cold and blinding
it arrived like a bolt out of the clear sky
into this field of calm
a bolt it is
yet too calm too subtle
perceived only by the agile senses
oh....... the coldness, the indifference
too cold to bear
if only thy hands would tear this veil apart...................
until then it shall remain an object of hatred

three women and a baby

2006-05-04T17:54:00.000+04:00

my trip to blore kept me from blogging......(a gud excuse for my laziness!).here are some reasons y u shud not go on a trip wid ur cuzins baby

1)u must put up wid her midnite tantrums
2)the extra guest room will be filled with baby stuff and they will politely tell u"u can sleep on the couch dear"
3) she will take the opportune moment to take revenge on u( yes especially wen shes not wearing her diaper)
4)she will tear the book u are reading (u shud not get vexed even if its this wonderful play by maxim gorky ......or even if its the moment u are enjoying the best dialogue of the book)
5) wen u are trying to shop for clothes she will cry and ruin the day
6) she loves to spit food, especially on u
7)she hates it wen u sleep .(she will climb on u and scream"akka akka")
8)all ur days plans are determined by her (read ruined by her)
9) she loves to scream wen u are holding her( this happens only wen u are standing in the middle of teh train compartment and everyone will give u a sympathetic smile)
10) she becomes ur sole playmate and u must knoe ringa ringa roses if u want to attract her attention
trust me......... three women had to tackle this baby and they were no better than the three men

2006-04-21T18:34:00.000+04:00

finally its the time of life when everything turns back to normal.the primary reason for my elated state of mind is that my eca prof has been replaced by this supercool human being who actually knows his concepts and is still not too headweighted about this fact. another reason is that my sm prof is screwing me more than usual (while u all wonder y tht makes me happy i shall smirk subtly).most importantly my dearest friend blasted me for taking life too seriously and being hyper sensitive....... and for not faring well in the midsemester exam..and thts making me feel very cared for........and as for the rest of the profs........ they still havent got over the barking disease..................poor diseased ppl they are ..........and........ my love for aahir bhairav is slowly shifting towards other raagaas ...........a transition for the good i guess.....

why i despise innocence

2006-04-13T16:55:00.000+04:00

ever done something with the most innocent of motives and repented throughout your life? ever had this feeling that the whole world is conspiring against you? ever felt that your friends are hiding one great secret from you and worse still, had the feeling that, that one secret is about you?
all this happens because of you and your innocence( innocence is no more a virtue.... its called kaenathanam).and to all those who are facing a world that is pregnant with silence as far as that one secret is concerned here is a simple idea..... QUIT BEING INNOCENT...... this is one great lesson i have learnt from these 18 years of my life......and that too a lesson learnt very late and in the hardest of ways .quit thinking that the world is filled with people that think straight and open up to you frankly in case theres a problem with you .the world is full of people that cannot ever understand your actions and you can never come to a conclusion as to why they do certain things ....... say certain things........or why they dont tell u certain things........ trust me.... knowing that they are hiding something from you hurts a trillion times more than knowing that they hate you .............
so here is the essence
quit enjoying innocence
enjoy your malicious effervescence
let the mind rest and let the agony be other men's
just like the two poems about the evil tiger and the innocent lamb by milton (if iam not wrong)
here is a transformation of a lamb into the ferocious tiger.......................................................
ps......iam wrong....... the poems were by william blake.

why iam an ob

2006-04-04T17:22:00.000+04:00

here are some reasons why iam an ob( few people still think otherwise......but they will change their views in the next 3 minutes)

1) i have not attempted to perform a single experiment in the eca lab (i prefer to call it ee kaakaa illaadha lab)
2) i fake this extra thirsty look in the eca lab( i plead for life...." maa'm iam very thirsty ... iam feeling dizzy".. kinda dialogues flow spontaneously) and royally end up at the coffee shop with an extra cold chocolate in hand ( which iam not supposed to drink... thnks to shreedevi ....... for we end up sharing the cold chocolate .......)... yeah cold choc in hand and a smirk on my face
2) i dont mind being at the coffee shop in my khaki coat ( which iam spsed to wear for the lab)
3) i cross the road from college to the bus stop with a constant thought in my mind" have gotta take a bus"....... but by the time i cross half the road, i change my mind and take an auto.
4) i dozed off during the college day chief guest's speech ( thnks to shre again ..for waking me up). i was analysing the criss cross lines on my palm and lo behold ...... i was asleep( i actually had a dream)
5) every time i open my books with the good intention of studying ....... my mind wanders and i start singing( even if it's the eve of an exam)
6)i love daydreaming ....... i make up situations and think of piercing words ( the right replies to the most intimidating people) ..... of course i never use them in actual situations.... am a goner wen people try to be rough with me .
7) i dont think about wat to blog.......just open the window and scribble nonsense
8) i take running notes in eca class(read previous blog to knoe wat kind of an ob iam)
these and many more will prove to be testimony to the fact that iam an ob

a class that lacks class

2006-03-22T17:12:00.000+04:00

scene1: an eternal bakbencher suddenly gets pensive about studying and sits down to take notes(thts me)
scene2; prof enters classroom
scene3: class begins..... i scribble away relegiously
a brief presentation of the" notes"......... she starts of with an OK....... and it goes on.........
" in this case p=q OK. so OKvandhu.......OK........ it can be written as.. scos OK......real power reactive power OK. vandhu... real will be +ve for inductive OK
(pause......... everyone looks at my notes)

OK so have everyone understood how it is ?
(yeah ...... of course)
p vandhu it is in the real axis OK q vandhu in the imaginary axis.OK .........OK so generallaaaaaaa oru vectorna it will have both magnitude and directionla........ OK so OK.............OK
idhu vandhu 90..... what circuit is this??? your angle .... avladhan......INDHA IDHU IDHU PANNALAAM.........u can use your calculator(for wat??)............OK idhu magnitude OK................IDHUKKU MELA NAAN ENNA TEACH PANNA MUDIYUM???????(we start screaming.. she gets tensed) one second one second ok ......... apdiye vechigonga......... illana u will get confused OK............XL vandhu......... vandhu.............. sorry..........inductive reactance.................... indha idhula OK................ANYWAY XL VANDHU.............................v/i.................OK ......... so i have......OK..............(ppl ask doubts)" ENDHA PARTLA DOUBTU? FIRST PARTA SECOND PARTA? SERI FIRST PART EDHU???"(LOL AM AS CLUELESS A S U ARE )"OK ........vandhu................power vandhu...........
what will power .. vandhu.......OK............... INSTANTANEOUS POWER..........(BELL RINGS)
................................"
trust me this is exactly wat we had to go through .(authentic notes)....... if u still get a earful dont blame me........

2006-03-19T15:04:00.000+04:00

TEN THINGS I INTEND TO DO THIS MONTH

1) learn one more abhang in aahir bhairav( everyone is saying tht iam going nuts about this raaga...... but just cant help it )
2) learn to speak decent hindi
3) try not to eat or drink anything thats cold
4) stop fighting ( not that iam very quarrelsome ...... just wanna nip it in the bud)
5) master fluid mechanics(considering the fact that my fm prof is a nut ... this is not gonna work)
6) wake up at 6:00 am on tuesdays and thursdays ( the other five days , iam forced to wake up at 6:00)
7) be impudent to my english prof ( must do it .... will do it)
8) work 0ut harder than usual
9) blog regularly( tough one)
10). follow my heart and not my mind( my best friend's advice.......... she has ordered me to stop using my brain for a while ...... so i will be more impulsive than usual i suppose )

2006-03-15T18:50:00.000+04:00

iam the most unfortunate woman on earth .............primarily because i have to constantly face the various manifestations of male chauvinism . the first one believed that women are a " new species" who find the lamest excuse to ditch a guy...now of course the person in concern seems to have given up his habit of treating women with malice ...but the seamy side of his character often appears in his blogs . the second one is 86 years old and asserts that there is no "woMAN" without "MAN" . yeah ..... age no bar to this syndrome . and today when we "gals"(pronounced with a scorn in his voice) were planning on a song for our culs this guy came up and said " hey decide who can sing wat"(looking at me........)" can u manage with classical music?"( i give him a glare)he said " see..... if i dont take charge of this thing u will take hours and will keep looking at each others faces trying to decide and end up doing nothing" . i snubbed him saying" we can decide ourselves".huh hes not even a senior . wen will this end??? wen will men learn to curb this complacency and treat women like we ought to be??????

2006-03-10T19:11:00.000+04:00

all my friends say that my blogs are boring . so ...ive decided to add spice to my blogs. i guess that a juicy controversy or a passionate story about my non- existant love life will make everyone feel better abt my blogs...(hehe just kidding)... so all those extra bored friends can expect something better from my next blog.............. and people have so far refused to leave comments about my blogs because they dont have enuf patience to even skim through them compeletely .so no more souls or spirits in my blogs
yeah soul less blogs they will be

the philosophy of birth death and rebirth

2006-02-24T16:59:00.000+04:00

the worst answered question of all times ... " how did life begin?". and now for those who have learnt about the various theories of evolution this will seem like a very easy thing to answer. while you ponder over those biological aspects of life , i will reveal a very new dimension of the word "life". life exists as long as the soul persists . so what is the soul? an energy that binds your body to this earth . the energy that animates this body and generates the vigour necessary for perforning various activities.physics has taught us that "energy can neither be created nor destroyed". so does this mean that the soul has neither a begenning nor an end. if thats the case the soul must persist even after the body is destroyed. it persists inside the body and the instant it leaves the body , death occurs. to the body whereas the soul remains ."energy can be converted from one form to another". the soul which is an energy changes form and settles down in a different body. and thts rebirth . what is the time gap between departure of the soul and its arrival into a new body? huh birth, death and rebirth . three things that men have failed to understand .

speech problems- 2

2005-12-04T09:50:00.000+04:00

so now that we have seen wat the problem with people is , we can analyse some ways to come out of such situations. the first thing is that we shud keep our minds clear of any thing negative or contradictory . secondly we shud keep tracking ourselves in our minds to see if there is coherence in our thoughts. and thirdly while putting forth a point we shud be prepared to remember wat we have to say next. lord hanuman was widely respected for his coherence of thoughts. his speech was often compared to a string of pearls.a famous anectode here is............... wen he came back to lord rama after seeing seetha he gave him the choodamani gem and said" kanden seethaiyai" . this is because if he had started be saying" seethaiyai" lord rama wud have become anxious about seethas condition. whereas in this case all doubts were cleared by the mere utterance of the word" kanden" before saying " seetaiyai". stay tuned for more gyan.

2005-12-02T16:25:00.000+04:00

so ........... now that ive started blogging.......... hmm....... cant think of anything to say......... and voila.......... that will be the topic of my first blog...............ever had this sensation of being unable to voice your views????? ever had the unlimited exuberance to speak on a plethora of topics and ended up saying something absolutely dumb???????? the basic problem is that your speech is not as fast as your thinking.............. even though you are very talented u are unable to express yourself because of the fear of failure......... and every time u open your mouth to speak your mind thinks and ponders over concomitant subjects that leave u confused bewildered and clueless. And in the end.......... your confidence is destroyed and u have to start from scratch to redeem this enormous confidence u had built up earlier. stay tuned to know how to come out of such disastrous situations..........